Last week I was honored to be a guest on my friend Angela Frisby’s new radio show, Real Women Live, at www.w4cy.com, and we enjoyed such lively conversation about “Is that new economy colored PINK?”
We talked about all the unique traits that women bring to the table. As women, we are naturally empathetic and communicative. We openly share and trust, without the need to control. We embody the new “age of consciousness”.
And all of us agreed that we naturally communicate and collaborate more comfortably than men. But I know a few women who are fiercely competitive. Is that such a bad thing? Don’t we need a little sense of competition to “win”?
On the radio show, the three of us talked about the fact that we just didn’t have what we called that crushing mechanism. We are generally what I would describe as “nice girls”.
My question is, is that a good thing? Or is it a “weakness”? At the end of the day, if I don’t have that competitive nature, can I still have that drive to succeed?
As I write this, I’m reminded that I presented a Marketing Plan learning lesson at the beginning of 2009 to a group of small business owners, many who were woman, and I referenced the book “The Art of War” and the idea that the author believed we need to “kill” our competition to survive in a down economy.
Boy, did I hear about how unpopular that concept was for that audience!
Just a week earlier, I had attended a Chamber of Commerce event where one of the well established, highly credible business consultants had presented the same concept. He was greeted with acknowledgment and understanding that when times are tough, a business needs to do everything it can to survive, and that includes taking advantage of competitor’s weaknesses and “taking them out” if the opportunity presents itself.
Honestly, I think my mostly female audience didn’t listen long enough to hear that the idea was that the concept is not to aggressively attack your opponents, but rather to be prepared, when the opportunity presents itself, to take advantage of competitive weaknesses. So the question remains, don’t I as a business owner have to be prepared to compete for head to head once in a while and to fight for what I believe in?
And doesn’t that mean that when I “sell” myself that I am excluding my competitor, not collaborating?
Well, the answer to this question lies in the identification of my uniqueness, my belief in my abilities and my place in the universe, and my willingness to detach from outcomes.
And when I connect to a message of serving rather than selling than competing isn’t necessary. Can that be true?
I think I’ve always inherently understood this principle, but it was my mentor and coach, Heather Dominick, who really brought clarity to the concept. In her training, she emphasizes that as an individual and solopreneur, I am unique in the universe, and therefore, the service I provide is like no other. That means I have no true competitors. Yes, there are people who provide a similar service, but there is no one exactly like me. And if I am successful at telling the world what makes me unique, then I will attract customers who are interested in my service and that is a service they can ONLY get from me!
So, by collaborating with other like-minded business owners, I will expand my circle of influence to increase the likelihood that I will come in contact with potential customers who are just waiting to hear my message and contract my service.
And even in the traditional world of product marketing, when I think about it, the same principle can apply– no two products are exactly the same. The trick is to connect to more and more of the people who have an interest in the product or service I offer, and collaboration allows me to leverage my resources and reach more people.
And when I reach those people, I present my service confidently and without attachment to the outcome. Does that mean I don’t want to succeed? Of course not, but it allows me to engage the potential customer in a way that doesn’t project fear or desperation into the presentation, thereby increasing the likelihood that I will “make the sale”.
Wouldn’t you rather “buy” from someone who conveys confidence and assurance, rather than someone sweating from the fear and desperation inherent in the “taking them out” strategy?
I know I would! What do you think?
In the spirit of wisdom, wellness, and prosperity–
Nanette
As in the poem, I “hope your road is a long one, full of discovery, full of adventure.”